It’s been some time since my last real blog post with written text. Last two weeks I have been only posting photos. They were uploaded to Flickr and than pushed via IFTT web tool to my other accounts – WP, FB, Twitter and Tumblr.
And I don’t think it is the best way to do. It is a bad way to do … So I turned this IFTT robot off. All right.
Coffee break, sorry….
Ok, back here. What I wanted to say? So, I re-directed the publishing concept. I missed this writing. It was first ok, but than I realized I am missing something but didn’t know what it was. So, this is it. Want to continue sharing my thoughts, if I have something to say.
So this is one thing.
|Hodonovice, June 2016|
Second thing is my BOOK. It is complicated. First I was thinking about making a book for about 4 months, but it didn’t take me anywhere. Than I completed a selection of photos. Than I deleted everything and started all over. I asked for help, but I got lost along the way. So I deleted everything again. Than I stood up again and completed the book, really into detail. Than I asked for opinion about the book again. But for a second opinion of a second person. I really wanted to finish it and it was all ready to print. But after the discussion I came to understanding that my stuff I am doing is nonsense. So I had deleted whole project that I put a lots of effort into. Again.
Than I was angry on myself, because I thought my street photography is all bullshit. I lost the meaning of what I was doing. Why am I my doing this secret/candid street stuff. Actually, I am hater of labeling things, and when I realized I am doing street, I hated that. Because I realized I am doing street photos to make street photos. To achieve that look. That aesthetics. I realized that my stuff is 80 % or 90 % stylization. So I was angry on myself.
And than I was thinking and having doubts regarding my post processing. Not the dilemma between color and bw. I love bw and I will always love bw. And color is color, I see my car and it is in color so it is OK, too. Ha ha. But… it is about using presets, that use certain amount of this and that, grain, contrast, I use them because it is easier and faster compared to doing it manually. And also because I would not achieve it myself without them. But perhaps the way I use these presets is not good. Many times I use them to empower the photo. So the photo is boring and with this cool preset it is suddenly interesting. And I hate that artificial add on of meaning/mood.
And I had some doubts about final look of my photos.You know… why am I making my photos to look like it was a grainy old film? Why? I like that look very much. This is OK. But, I am twisting the reality after, I sit at my computer and I do stuff to my photos. They look great (to my eyes). But is that ok? It is above mentioned stylization. Stylizating into those that I admire. So I was all angry about myself…when you realize you are doing something because others are doing it.
Also I had an issue with photographing strangers. I asked myself, why do I do it? If I am not brave enough to look in the eyes of the strangers, should I make the photos secretly? It is too easy to make a photo of a stranger as I learned the technique how to do it. And since I learned it, I lost that drive on, because I already know.
What makes sense would be documenting life in broader meaning, not just limited to streets as my mind was caged into this label….maybe. But again, I was here in my thoughts already, so I am going in circles…
So I made a power point presentation of my “book project” that I turned into a video slideshow…. just to finish this chapter for myself. To finish that street book project. But, in my mind I wasn’t able to finish just like that. I really wanted to have that book in my hands, because I love the photos I made. It was last Sunday and I had a discount coupon on Blurb that was about to expire. So, I sat at my computer for a couple of hours and completed the whole book. And ordered. It is light, it has 33 photos, it has a new cover, only photos from the street and no other shit. Just street. Not much words. Just one introductory sentence. Best paper (I hope the more expensive means the best, ha ha) they had on stock. Now waiting for delivery. And I thought I am all done with street shooting. Because I made that book and that was supposed to be a milestone. Just saying what I was thinking…
So, with this stuff in my head…milestones, stylization…I looked at my bulky photo archive in my PC and I skipped everything that smelled like “street”. I know, silly. So, this way, I finished processing my 60 or 70 folders packed with photos in one hour, because almost everything was photos of people on the streets. Just boring snaps.
Also, I didn’t feel like processing/looking at my new September photos from my camera memory card, so I looked in my May folder and thought I might process non-street photos from Poland. It was about traveling around Katowice and cities around and photographing old coal mines, brownfields, decay and stuff like that. Just wanted to see anything but street.
So this is little explanation about crazy thing going on my my blog.